


The Joy of being Happy

by myeonssing



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Multi, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 14:53:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16683697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myeonssing/pseuds/myeonssing
Summary: Thank you for reading!





	The Joy of being Happy

People still ask me why I decided to let him go. The answer is simple: he’s finally and truly happy.

 

It’s been a while since I last saw Junmyeon. His hair is still the same chestnut brown, his skin is still the softest and the fairest of them all, and his smile is still the brightest. I always remember him as the boy who got away, but now I’ll remember him as the one I finally let go.

  
We decided to see each other after quite some time of having no contact. I just made the decision that I needed to confirm if I still have feelings for him or if I have finally moved on.

 

Just the thought of seeing him again after a long while made me nervous. I thought I’d faint before he arrived at our favorite (used to be favorite) coffee shop. He was 5 minutes late (as always) and he was grinning from ear to ear as if he’s too happy to see me - something that definitely surprised me. I always thought he resented me for hurting him the way I did. 

 

We shook hands and it felt like Junmyeon still hasn't done any household chores.

 

Being the chatty and perky person he’s always been, he started telling me stories of his life - those events that I was no longer part of. We were together for quite a long time, mostly as close friends, until I decided to take a risk and asked him out on a date.

 

It went well for the first few months, but I started panicking because my pessimistic ass couldn’t believe that it was actually doing pretty well - my first ever relationship. I started getting jealous whenever he’s out with his friends, becoming a control freak, and just basically being an asshole to this amazing human being named Kim Junmyeon.

 

Junmyeon has always been kind and caring and he never lets anyone dive into the deep end of sorrows and negativity. Unfortunately, no matter how much effort he gave in trying to save my sorry self, he just couldn’t. My insecurities stemmed from childhood experiences and bad decisions in life, and it’s only just recently that I realized I’m the only one who can save me, and that was what I did.

 

In the hopes of redemption, I also hoped to redeem my relationship with Junmyeon. I was not asking for a second chance in love, but a second chance in friendship. I lost a lot when I lost Junmyeon as my closest friend. It took me a while but I finally came around.

 

However, when Junmyeon started telling stories, I realized that I was truly hoping for another chance in love. I felt selfish and I wanted nothing more than be able to hug, kiss, and love Junmyeon all over again. I was so close to asking him if he’ll accept me as his lover again until he mentioned about this certain Zhang Yixing - the guy he’s been crushing on for almost a year now. He’s gushing about the guy’s dimples, his droopy eyes that felt like home, his hands that are perfectly molded, his voice that carries so much emotion, and more. At first, I thought it was just a petty admiration. Sure, the guy sounds _perfect_ but he’s got nothing against what Junmyeon and I have been through together. That’s what was on my mind until Junmyeon mentioned that the guy doesn’t even like him back.

 

“He… doesn’t like me, Jongin. He just doesn’t.”, he said. I was rendered speechless for how can this _perfect guy_ not love THE Kim Junmyeon? The person I would die for. “How can he not like you, Junmyeon? Are you sure about this or are you just being dense?” I know Junmyeon like the back of my own hands and he can be very dense sometimes.

 

“He told me so. He… he likes someone else, Nini. And even if he cannot love me back, I still genuinely like him so much. It’s making me crazy but I’m happy just being near him, just being able to talk to him as often as I can… it’s enough for me,” he said with a soft smile on his face.

 

“But, Junmyeon, don’t you think you deserve more than this unrequited love affair? You deserve to be loved back by the one you love! God damn it. You know your self-worth, you left me because you know you deserve better, but you’ll stay with him even if he can’t see your worth?”

 

“It’s not that he can’t see my worth… it’s just that he doesn’t love me. That’s it. He appreciates me as a person, as a friend, but nothing more than that. I’m already grateful that he likes me enough to consider me as his friend. He’s an amazing person, Nini. He’s inspiring me to become better, to always choose the better perspective. And that alone is enough for me.”

 

“So, he’s like an inspiration? Like an...idol?”

 

“Yes and no. He’s an inspiration… like a true friend that he is to me and to all of his other friends. He’s not fake and just by being true to himself and to others, that’s already a rarity in this world full of lies. Of course, it stung a bit that he cannot reciprocate whatever I am feeling towards him, but that doesn’t mean that I should hate him. I am happy when he’s happy, and if being with his partner makes him happy, I’ll support that wholeheartedly," Junmyeon explained.

Seeing him this contented made me want to assure myself that he truly is. 

"Are you really happy, Junmyeon?", I asked.

"I am really happy, Jongin. It's that feeling of happiness that makes me happier. I hope everyone will feel it too," he answered with his bright eyes and a smile on his face.

 

And that is what struck me the most. Junmyeon has once again proven to me of how selfless he can be. Selfless but knows his self-worth. I may never have the chance to be in a relationship again with Junmyeon, but I will always have that choice to simply love the man, the way he deserves to be loved. And that has become my happiness.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


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